Last week, I was tapped to chaperone a field trip for my middle and high school kids at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. Because my hubby was out of town and I had a pretty serious case of bronchitis I wasn’t exactly behind the eight-ball on a bunch of stuff that was going on in our household. So, I dragged it out of bed the morning of, loaded up on cold meds and headed out to OMSI to get me some learnin’ with my kids. Luckily—or not—I was clueless, going in and, because of an ill-timed bathroom break, managed to elude the docent’s speech on the exhibit’s particulars.
These ‘particulars’ being, that the room was full of DEAD, NAKED PEOPLE. MY EYES! MY EYES! Posed in bizarre positions with their petrified junk exposed for all the world (and my kids) to gape at. If you haven’t heard of this exhibit by Gunther Von Hagen, Google it and you’ll get some idea of what I’m talking about. Anyhow, to say we all learned a little something that day, was to put it mildly.
And you know? I have to admit, the human body is beautiful and magical, even as an over-sized hunk of beef jerky. But it got me to wondering about a lot of stuff while I was there. Who were these people? What would compel them to pose naked for eternity, in odd positions such as a soccer player or a gymnast or a figure skating couple?
Did they even know how to figure skate? Or play the clarinet? Or steer a pirate ship? Had the two skaters, now entwined for posterity, ever met in real life? Did they really think through the part about being…oh, I don’t know…NAKED? For earthly eternity?
And, if I could get beyond the nudity, would I consider donating my cadaver to such an endeavor? And, in what position would they pose me?
The most obvious, of course, would be me, behind the wheel of my minivan. One hand fused to the steering wheel, the other, raised and lobbing fast food into the backseat at a bunch of naked, petrified teenagers.
You know, I don’t think I saw a tribute to menopausal motherhood in that exhibit…
That would be one definite way to leave my mark on the world.