Daily Archives: February 9, 2010

Menopause, love and logic

I know that Love & Logic parenting is all the rage.  With due respect to its creators and many adherents, ARE ANY OF YOU FREAKING MENOPAUSAL????

Give me a moment; I’ll take my estrogen and explain…

When I got in the shower this morning, I discovered that, once again, my daughter has been “making potions” during bath time.  The making of potions a la Libbi entails dumping all of my body wash, body scrubs, conditioning gels, lotions and liquids (absolutely essential to avoid that “mature” alligator-with-eczema look) into the bath water and then making her own sludgy combos to refill the containers.  (She puts them all back very neatly, gotta give her that.  I never know she’s done it until I wash my hair with bath salt.)

Now, I have previously explained that this situation is not acceptable and determined the “logical,”  “loving” course of action–a shower instead of a bath for her, which would be a tragedy and probably effective.    IF I COULD REMEMBER TO ENFORCE IT.

You see, Love & Logic parenting requires two things the menopausal mother of a young child does not have in adequate supply: patience and a memory.

Am I really supposed to remember at six p.m. the thing that pissed me off that morning?  Not gonna happen.  I consider that one of the perks of menopause.

I tried 1-2-3 Magic, which I liked when my daughter was younger, but now, with menopause-induced ADD, I’m onto another topic by the time I get to 3.

So, I propose a more satisfying, more effective way for a menopausal mother make her point:  The next time I get into my shower only to find that my expensive cream rinse has been diluted to drool, I am going to scream “WHICH ONE OF YOU YAHOOS IS MESSING WITH MY STUFF AGAIN????  WHOEVER IT IS , YOU ARE IN SO.  MUCH.  TROUBLE!!!” at the top of my lungs.   I think that’s going to work.  And at least I won’t have to try to remember where I put my Love & Logic book.



Filed under Menopause, Motherhood