I know that Love & Logic parenting is all the rage. With due respect to its creators and many adherents, ARE ANY OF YOU FREAKING MENOPAUSAL????
Give me a moment; I’ll take my estrogen and explain…
When I got in the shower this morning, I discovered that, once again, my daughter has been “making potions” during bath time. The making of potions a la Libbi entails dumping all of my body wash, body scrubs, conditioning gels, lotions and liquids (absolutely essential to avoid that “mature” alligator-with-eczema look) into the bath water and then making her own sludgy combos to refill the containers. (She puts them all back very neatly, gotta give her that. I never know she’s done it until I wash my hair with bath salt.)
Now, I have previously explained that this situation is not acceptable and determined the “logical,” “loving” course of action–a shower instead of a bath for her, which would be a tragedy and probably effective. IF I COULD REMEMBER TO ENFORCE IT.
You see, Love & Logic parenting requires two things the menopausal mother of a young child does not have in adequate supply: patience and a memory.
Am I really supposed to remember at six p.m. the thing that pissed me off that morning? Not gonna happen. I consider that one of the perks of menopause.
I tried 1-2-3 Magic, which I liked when my daughter was younger, but now, with menopause-induced ADD, I’m onto another topic by the time I get to 3.
So, I propose a more satisfying, more effective way for a menopausal mother make her point: The next time I get into my shower only to find that my expensive cream rinse has been diluted to drool, I am going to scream “WHICH ONE OF YOU YAHOOS IS MESSING WITH MY STUFF AGAIN???? WHOEVER IT IS , YOU ARE IN SO. MUCH. TROUBLE!!!” at the top of my lungs. I think that’s going to work. And at least I won’t have to try to remember where I put my Love & Logic book.