Menopause, love and logic

I know that Love & Logic parenting is all the rage.  With due respect to its creators and many adherents, ARE ANY OF YOU FREAKING MENOPAUSAL????

Give me a moment; I’ll take my estrogen and explain…

When I got in the shower this morning, I discovered that, once again, my daughter has been “making potions” during bath time.  The making of potions a la Libbi entails dumping all of my body wash, body scrubs, conditioning gels, lotions and liquids (absolutely essential to avoid that “mature” alligator-with-eczema look) into the bath water and then making her own sludgy combos to refill the containers.  (She puts them all back very neatly, gotta give her that.  I never know she’s done it until I wash my hair with bath salt.)

Now, I have previously explained that this situation is not acceptable and determined the “logical,”  “loving” course of action–a shower instead of a bath for her, which would be a tragedy and probably effective.    IF I COULD REMEMBER TO ENFORCE IT.

You see, Love & Logic parenting requires two things the menopausal mother of a young child does not have in adequate supply: patience and a memory.

Am I really supposed to remember at six p.m. the thing that pissed me off that morning?  Not gonna happen.  I consider that one of the perks of menopause.

I tried 1-2-3 Magic, which I liked when my daughter was younger, but now, with menopause-induced ADD, I’m onto another topic by the time I get to 3.

So, I propose a more satisfying, more effective way for a menopausal mother make her point:  The next time I get into my shower only to find that my expensive cream rinse has been diluted to drool, I am going to scream “WHICH ONE OF YOU YAHOOS IS MESSING WITH MY STUFF AGAIN????  WHOEVER IT IS , YOU ARE IN SO.  MUCH.  TROUBLE!!!” at the top of my lungs.   I think that’s going to work.  And at least I won’t have to try to remember where I put my Love & Logic book.



Filed under Menopause, Motherhood

7 responses to “Menopause, love and logic

  1. pamb

    Oh, Wendy! : )

    My solution would be to put my stuff up where the darn kid can’t get at it.

    I have no idea what Love & Logic is. I’m so glad. (g)

    The buzz in my day was Parent Effectiveness Training. Had to take that as part of our adoption process, although we had 10+ years in the trenches with the already-acquired-via-womb kids. Ern & I still say, “It’s the goldfish’s problem!” and laugh.

    Whole thing was all about whose problem it was & making situations the kids’ problem instead of the parents’. Example was the kid begs for a pet. Ad nauseum. Finally they let the kid get a fish. Ern & I say, “A fish is not a pet, it’s a room decoration.” Soon kid is not feeding fish. Parent upset. Whose problem is it. At the same time, Ern & I said, “The goldfish’s!” : ) The trainer really liked us. : )

    Easier being a grandma. I don’t worry about permanent personality damage because I got ticked. They know I love ’em & think they’re great. But leave my stuff alone!

    Hang in there!
    pamb (as in baker)

    • Pam!!!! So good to “see” you!

      I like letting everything be the goldfish’s problem. I might need an aquarium.

      Or, wait until I’m a grandmother to moisturize?


  2. My solution is PamB’s — we try to put stuff out of his reach, which is now the very top shelf of the over-the-john cabinet. Soon we’ll have to put stuff in buckets and hang them from hooks in the ceiling. The trick is we have to remember to take bottles of precious conditioner etc. out of the shower and put back onto the high shelf, because he now climbs into the dry tub to reach stuff if he sees something interesting. And isn’t *everything* interesting to a two-year-old?

    Another trick that helps … have smaller bottles, and refill them frequently from the economical jumbo-size bottles. That way when I forget and he dumps it out anyway, I haven’t lost everything. Though you do have to remember to refill… 🙂

    I’m not familiar with Love & Logic. We’re trying Positive Parenting and 123 Magic … which have limited effectiveness.

    • 1-2-3 Magic really does work well if the consequences are more important than time out.

      Actually, my esteemed blog partner has written a great book on the subject, and I think her delightful brood of five are proof that her parenting techniques work.

      She hasn’t tried to publish the book yet, but ask her for a few glimpses.

      Daniel sounds like a great, curious 2 yr-old!

      Hugs from the trenches!


  3. Ginger

    toohotmamas are toofun! Today is my first visit, and I’m already addicted…lucky for me, I have to rush off to work, so I have archival material to look forward to later! As I’m about to hit the New Thirty, I’m heartened to find online camaraderie on the battle with the sister nemesi [is that plural for nemesis?], Patience and Memory!
    As for my Max, he’s not so much messing with my age-defying beauty aids as offering adorable, innocent, completely unwelcome comments about how well they’re working!
    You are so fun to laugh with, even over the ethers. Miss you buckets!

    • {{{Ginger}}}}!!!!

      You’ll make the New Thirty the envy of all. Too funny about Max’s comments. Just more fodder to use his college fund for BOTOX injections (see “All Dolled Up” LOL)

      I thought becoming a mom later in life would keep me young. It worked until The Change.

      Sooo looking forward to a great chat someday soon (I’ll turn up my hearing aid.)


  4. I am sooo glad these days are behind me 🙂

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