Let’s explore symptom # 3 “Irritability”

As we explore the 35 symptoms of Menopause together, I’m going to be taking them out of order.  Why?  Because that’s how they take me.

Symptom Number Three–IRRITABILITY

Normally, I am very kind to telemarketers.  Hey, they are just doing their job, right?  Trying to carve out a living.  Like me.  I get that.  But lately…I don’t know…I find myself somewhat irritated by them.  Probably because of symptoms #5 Trouble Sleeping Through the Night and #9 Crashing Fatigue.

Anyway, early this morning, the phone rings.  Right off the bat, symptom 3 rears its ugly head.  Caller ID says “MSL PROMO’  (402) 982-0420.  Huh?  “Hello?”

Silence.

Symptom 3 ramps up.  “HELLO?”

After another 3 seconds I hear a heavily accented voice say, “Hull-oo?”

“Hi, uh, listen, I don’t do business over the phone, so take me off your list, huh?  Thank you.”  Feeling good about my patient demeanor, loving-my-neighbor and all that, I hang up and roll back over for some much-needed sleep.

Ring.  Same caller I.D.  I don’t want any.  “Hello?”

Again, loooong pause.  “Ees dis Calo…Car…Curlolin…Cularlin…C.c.c…”

“Yes!  Please!  I don’t do business over the phone.  Take me off your list!  Thank you!”  I hang up and try to sleep.

Ring. 

I answer.  “WHAT?”

“Uhh… ees dis… Calr… Colin…C”

“Do not call here again.”

“Haas my cumpony call you more than woonce?”

“As of this morning, THREE TIMES!  BUZZ OFF!”

Ring, Ring…

This is where Symptom #3 possessed me like a scene from the Exorcist.  I picked up the phone and screamed until I was hoarse.  Felt good.  Real good.

Ring, Ring…  (I’m not kidding).  This time, I imagine my caller gathering his telemarketer buddies around the phone, all eager to see what I’ll do next.  It was early.  I had little time to prepare a show, so I improvised with another blood curdling scream.  Loud and long and window rattling.  The dogs dove under the bed.

Throat is raw and bloody.  But I’m feeling good about the way I handled it.  By now, I was awake enough to call the National Do Not Call Number to register my phone.   888-382-1222.  Call ’em.  It’ll save your vocal cords.  And your sleep.

Calrolein…Carlyloln…C…C…Carolyn

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3 Comments

Filed under Menopause

3 responses to “Let’s explore symptom # 3 “Irritability”

  1. Jill

    The ones I cannot abide are the telemarketers who don’t or won’t take NO for an answer…”But Mrs. F…don’t you want to buy gold?” NO. “Well, you need to understand that this a great opportunity in these uncertain times.” No kidding, my husband has been unemployed since May and the unemployement comp stopped in Oct. I am the ONLY employed person in this household. “What about the word NO do you not understand?”
    OR #2…”May we speak to the head of the house please?” He’s not here right now, who is calling please? “We must speak to the head of the house.” Ok. Call back later. Fast forward to “later”. They call back and the HH (head of household) says to them, “O, you’ll have to talk to my wife, she’s the one that handles that.” So then, I get on the phone and we go through #1 again…finishing with, “what part of NO do you NOT understand?”
    #3. The phone rings, you race to finish washing your hands in the bathroom to get the call. The cheery voice that says: “This is _____, we have funds available for you and your business , please press 1 now to speak to our representative and claim your millions in government stimulus money. Oh and press 9 to be removed from our calling list.” Of course you have to press 9 about 15 different times to actually have them quit calling you. But at least you get your exercise racing to the phone.
    I must admit, I am more irritated by this since I’ve gone through menopause than before…in fact I find myself to be quite content being cranky 56 year old…I’ve earned it!

  2. LOL!

    I have two tactics for phone solicitors to suggest that’s easier on your vocal cords and eardrums, while you’re waiting the three months or so it takes for placing yourself on the Do Not Call list to take effect. (www dot do not call dot gov — register every phone line, and you must re-register if you change carriers, btw)

    1. Set the phone down and walk away.
    I especially enjoy employing this tactic when they don’t even stop to take a breath so you can politely say no, thank you. You’ll know they’ve given up when you hear an annoying tone or the “if you’d like to make call…” recording, audible from across the room. The bonus to letting them go on and on while you’re not listening is that they can’t call the next person.
    2. Tell them you’re on welfare.
    My friend Teri used this in the days before the No Call list, and sales calls dropped dramatically.

    I don’t have the chutzpah to answer the phone rudely, much as I’d like to. For one, we’re self-employed and it might be someone calling with a job, and two, the only time I ever answered rudely (back in the days when an incoming call would knock me off the internet) it was the girlfriend of my dh’s cousin, letting us know said cousin had just passed away.

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