A Damsel in Gastrointestinal Distress: Symptom #20

The 35 Symptoms of Menopause    A continuing education.

 Today, I thought I would be fun to demystify symptom # 20.

GASTROINTESTINAL DISTRESS, INDIGESTIN, FLATULENCE, GAS PAIN, NAUSEA.

Why?  Because I think it’s my biggest public fear. 

This idea may be a bit ahead of its time, but hear me out.  I was reading the directions to my Juicer and there was this whole chapter in there about colon and liver cleansing.  Liver cleansing?  Interesting.  Misspent youth.  Don’t ask.  Anyway, imagine my delight to learn that a coffee enema is a fantastic way to promote bile discharge.  Who knew?  As a fan of all things coffee, I gotta admit, this was a surprise.  And, because I’m willing to go to any lengths to dispense with symptom 20, I began to think.

Starbucks is missing out on a fantastic revenue source.  The Coffee Bowel Cleanse.  Huh?  Huh?  Yeah?  Think about it.  Sure, like all innovative ideas, it might be hard to market it at first.  However, as we baby boomers age, there could be a big demand. 

Admittedly, serving this product could be tricky.  I mean it’s not like you could just walk in to Starbucks, drop your pants, bend over and shout, “Fill ‘er up!” at your Barista.  That would be messy.  And there was that whole scalding coffee lawsuit with McDonalds thing awhile back.  Still, it has merit and I’m going to work on the logistics of bringing this product to you, the public.  Eventually.  I don’t know.

In any event, 4 out of 5 doctors say, “Keeping your bowel flora healthy is the single-most important thing that you can do for your health!”

Next, I plan to explore the bowel flora / FTD connection.  Another fantastic revenue source?  I’m thinking so.

Carolyn

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2 Comments

Filed under Menopause

2 responses to “A Damsel in Gastrointestinal Distress: Symptom #20

  1. I pictured a caramel macchiato, and it was not pretty.

    Wendy

  2. I pictured the barista’s face.

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