OMG! I'm so totally beautiful!
I just spent the week in a Yurt at the beach with 6 middle school girls (one of them was my daughter) for a Science Field Study. Ohmigosh. The shrieking, the mess, the ADHD, the horrible house-keeping skills and that’s just ME.
The girls? Hopeless.
OVERHEARD IN MY YURT:
“I’m incredibly beautiful. Not to brag or anything, it’s just true. But, when I straighten my hair? I’m even more beautiful. Not to sound vain.”
“That’s okay. It’s good to be vain. And you are really beautiful.”
WHAT DATING IN 6TH GRADE REALLY MEANS:
Sit at the opposite end of the cafeteria and don’t look at each other. Ever. (Looking is for 7th grade).
Getting to wear the boy’s hoodie? You’re as good as married. Pick out the china.
OVERHEARD IN THE CAFETERIA:
“I gave his hoody back!” Mass hysteria and giggling. “And I loaded the pocket with candy!” More mass hysteria.
“Ooo, tight move!”
“Yeah! He like said, I love candy!” MASSIVE HYSTERIA. “He said love!”
DURING TRUTH OR DARE:
“Next time? I dare you to give his hoody back and tell him you never want to wear it again because it totally smells like B.O.”
OVERHEARD ON THE BUS:
“Don’t worry, Mr. Smith, but you might want to count noses again…”
Alarmed, Mr. Smith asks, “Are we short a student?”
“No. But I’m pretty sure I saw that guy–don’t look now–the one sitting in the back of the bus–I said don’t look–The scruffy one with the flies buzzing around his head–don’t look–yeah, that guy, I saw him hitch-hiking about an hour ago…”
“No, no. That’s Carolyn. Gracie’s mom. She’s in a Yurt with all 6th graders.”
“Oh, right. That explains it.”
Kid: “Has anyone seen my flashlight/pillow/towel/sleeping bag/makeup/backpack/sleeping mat/text book?”
Me: “What did you do with the last six flashlights/pillows/towels/sleeping bags/makeup/backpacks/sleeping bags/text books I gave you?”
Kid: “I dunno.”
ON BEING SEXY:
“I know everyone thinks the boy I like is a total Spaz–”
“Because he IS!”
“But that’s only because you don’t KNOW him!”
“I know he eats his boogers.”
“He’s still sexy.”
Going on a field study is a great way to get to really know not only your own child, but the kids he/she pals around with all day at school. It’s comforting to know that when you get home, you can lock your darling up and home school them until they are 35 and have completed basic training for nunnery boot camp.