The 35 Symptoms of Menopause. Symptom#4: Mood Swings

I went through “pre-mature menopause.”  At 44, my period just up and disappeared.  When I saw my doctor and asked her to make it come back, she ordered a blood test and congratulated me.  “You just had the easiest transition into menopause that I’ve seen.  I have women sobbing over my desk.  Consider yourself lucky.”

I did.  Well, not so much as my face changed every day (See the post:  Symptom # 36, Every Day You Get A New Face).  But in general, I felt pretty good.

However, as I rounded the bend on year four of menopause, The Change began to look less like hormonal fluctuation and more like a Werewolf  Walk-In.  “Mood Swings”?  PULL-EASE.  I respect you too much not to use full disclosure.  Symptom #4 is actually:  Menopause- Induced Multiple Personality Disorder.  An example:

Situation:  I look into the refrigerator and realize we are out of the broccoli I was going to make for dinner.

Before Menopause:  Order pizza.

Post Menopause:  “My God, WE’RE GOING TO GET RICKETS.  What kind of mother doesn’t have broccoli?”

Husband (soothingly):  “I’ll order pizza.”

Menopausal me:  “Are you out of your mind?  ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR TINY, PEA-SIZED MIND?  (Symptom #5: “irritibility.”  Riiiiight.)  I swear to holy heaven, if you pick up that phone, we are THROUGH.  (Searching refrigerator.)  There’s got to be a vegetable in here.  There’s got to be!”

Husband (fearfully):  I could… run to the market?

Turning, my blue eyes glowing orange (he swears they did), I growl.  No words, just a growl.  Then I eat two ice cream sandwiches, find half a bag of frozen peas in the back of the freezer and burst into tears.

At first, I told myself I was just being seven.  My DD has scenes like this occasionally.  But after several such episodes and fearing imminent admission to a psych ward, I phoned my doctor.   She gave me bio-identical hormones and said I should see some improvement in a couple of days.  Two days later, I stopped crying–over EVERYTHING.   I should add, she also gave me amino acids to deal with the attendant menopausal symptoms anxiety and depression.  I feel like me again.

Now there is only one seven-year-old in the house.   My husband is happier.  We’re out of broccoli again, but Papa Murphy’s is only a mile up the road.



Filed under Anxiety, Health, Marriage, Menopause, Writing

3 responses to “The 35 Symptoms of Menopause. Symptom#4: Mood Swings

  1. Hormones…not diamonds…are a girl’s best friend 🙂

    Don’t you hate it when the girls coming up behind us act like we’re over the hill? I, not on purpose, recently treated my 75 year old mom like that. Boy, did I get a tongue lashing. I’ll never do that again 🙂

  2. Okay, I’ve been told that mood swings happen, but really? I’m such a level, never-get-mad/snarky/sarcastic/mean person (stop laughing … no, I MEAN it, stop laughing!) that I can’t imagine turning into Ms. Jeckel for even a moment. LOL! I think – for me – the anxiety is the worst, and that hormones are the new miracle drug.

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