I have teenaged girls. I love it, as I am a connoisseur of sarcasm and they just give me so much…fodder.
Take today for example:
15 year old: Mom, when a man has his prostate removed, is he still, like, a man?
Me: No, darling. The moment the prostate is removed, the poor slob becomes a unicorn.
13 year old: I would rather die, than eat a fly.
Me: You’re telling me that you’d rather light yourself on fire than eat a house fly? Be torn apart by a grizzly bear? Eaten by an alligator? Sit on a stick of dynamite?
15 year old: Mom! Look! The dog is lactating! Eeew! Hey…I wonder what it tastes like?
Me: Why don’t you hold her over your cereal bowl in the morning and find out?
I know, I know, I should aim for a more mature, maternal tone. But come on. Like, they both totally wanted to throw their stupid printer away. Until I plugged it in.