Like Totally

 

You like want us to clean? What's up with that?

 

I have teenaged girls. I love it, as I am a connoisseur of sarcasm and they just give me so much…fodder.   

Take today for example:   

15 year old:  Mom, when a man has his prostate removed, is he still, like, a man?   

Me:  No, darling.  The moment the prostate is removed, the poor slob becomes a unicorn.   

13 year old:  I would rather die, than eat a fly.   

Me:  You’re telling me that you’d rather light yourself on fire than eat a house fly?  Be torn apart by a grizzly bear?  Eaten by an alligator?  Sit on a stick of dynamite?    

15 year old: Mom!  Look!  The dog is lactating!  Eeew!  Hey…I wonder what it tastes like?   

Me:  Why don’t you hold her over your cereal bowl in the morning and find out?   

I know, I know, I should aim for a more mature, maternal tone.  But come on.  Like, they both totally wanted to throw their stupid printer away.  Until I plugged it in.   

Carolyn

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3 Comments

Filed under Children, Marriage, Menopause, Motherhood, parenthood, The Bi-Racial Family

3 responses to “Like Totally

  1. Jill

    Ok.. I know I put this on FB…but it bears repeating. My teen (male) makes such reasonable requests…like going into Costco the other day. “Mom could you please get your card out before we get to the door.” So I then patiently show him what is in my hand. Why would it be such a huge problem to stand at the door and dig through my medium size purse that holds all manner of reciepts and items left there as a result of a 2 week trip…? After all he is more than happy to go trolling through the bottom of the purse searching for any loose change lurking there…but he’s only 18!

  2. Jill

    We get to experience more “whatever” next week. Stay tuned.

  3. This is like totally a scream!! I had 2 teenage daughters, who are now like totally grownup adults!

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