I think it’s about time we woman of a certain age created our own secret texting language. I’ve begun breaking ground in this realm and thought I’d share what I like to call: Not Your Daughter’s Way, Texting.
Some adorable key functions:
Ω Mom is in the garden
% The unfortunate breast augmentation key
‰ Sue the surgeon key
+ The “I shouldn’t have had that last brownie” key
~ The “I could take it or leave it tonight, honey” key
# The “my ridiculously expensive eye cream isn’t working” key
* The ceiling fan key. Trust me, it’s amazing how many times you might need to refer to a ceiling fan, but don’t have the time or energy to type it all out.
And some helpful mom abbreviations:
GCYRBMHE = Go Clean Your Room Before My Head Explodes
WDTDRI?GHOOHBMHE = What Did The Dog Roll In? Get Him Out Of Here Before My Head Explodes
ITMHJE= I Think My Head Just Exploded
Some new interpretations on the old standards:
BF = Barely Functioning
BFF= Barely Functioning Friend
LOL = Lots of Liposuction
OMG = Short for Omega 3
A text sentence might look like: My BFF Wendy sez OMG 4 no LOL
Translated: My barely functioning friend, Wendy recommends that you take Omega 3 oils for optimum health and to avoid unhealthy weight gain during the Menopausal years.
My response might look like: I no-no! I’m such %!
Translated: I did not know that! I’m such a boob!
Okay, the system is new and needs some work.