The other day I was just sitting there (telling you exactly where would be toomuchinfo) reading the can of Summer’s Eve Feminine Deodorant Spray.
(Somebody tossed all the old Entertainment Weekly Magazines, so reading material was slim pickins).
At home or on-the-go, feel fresh and clean every day.
SAFE AND GENTLE. Enjoy being a woman.
Hmm. Isn’t that nice? Wait. What’s this? Cautions?
Okay, is it just me, or is that word not something you want in a product designed for your ‘nether regions’?
DO NOT USE PRODUCT NEAR FIRE, FLAME, OR SPARKS.
Thank heavens I quit smoking. ‘Crotch-rocket’ doesn’t just mean motorcycle anymore, eh Wendy?
AVOID SPRAYING PRODUCT INTO EYES.
Seriously? There are people out there who spray this stuff into their face? Now I’m doubly glad I quit smoking, you know, just in case I wanted my eyes to smell of ISLAND SPLASH instead of Maybelline while going blind.
FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY.
Good thing I also quit that fire-eating act.
DISCONTINUE USE IMMEDIATELY IF RASH, IRRITATION OR DISCOMFORT DEVELOPS.
Are they talking about the sparks that shoot from your panties upon ignition? No more sitting on the stove for me.
Kinda takes the enjoyment out of being a woman.