The following is sung to the tune of Tradition! From Fiddler on the Roof.
Minutia! Minutia! Min-oooo-shaaaa! My-new-shoes!
I’m drowning in minutia. Are you? Here is a typical day at my house and the time spent on each ridiculous task.
Wake up. Determine that today I will get organized and accomplish much. I will also eat well and exercise. First, coffee! (For that added burst of energy). 10 minutes
Then, a few quick tasks at the computer. Hmmm. Today I see I must join a Yahoo writer’s group. How do I pick a name for my new email address? Spend 20 minutes puzzling out how many ways I can spell my name with dots and underscores. Now, I must choose an alias? Spend 15 minutes toying with cute monikers. How do I get into the chat room? Spend 12 minutes cussing at my laptop. Correctly fill out all fields. Try to type in the wavy code . 5 minutes.
The group decides to meet on Facebook instead. Another 20 minutes, figuring out how to find them.
Once on Facebook and in group, spend half hour congratulating each other and discussing how Yahoo sucks.
Get up to go ‘powder the nose’. 5 minutes
While gone, group moves back to Yahoo. What was my new email address? 15 minutes spent searching. Did I use a dot or an underscore between first and last names? How do I find out? Who do I ask? What was my cutsie alias? After some angst, figure it out, get back on Yahoo. Find the others in the group. 1 hour total.
Move on to email. Deal with 12 gogillion Spam mails. Read all email. Answer all email, except for the stuff that I don’t know the answers to. Ignore that stuff. Make people who are waiting for my answers angry. 2 hours.
Go to real mailbox. Sort out the junk mail from the real mail. Get distracted by chocolate cookies that hubby brought home from work last night. Stuff entire pile of paper into the laundry basket with all the other junk mail and bills. Realize that I don’t have time to go through 17 bazillion pieces of mail because I have to set up the new computer first. Accrue numerous late fees. Credit rating plummets.
Take new computer out of box on desk. Set it up. New computer crashes. Call trouble shooting hotline. Talk to guy from India. Take new computer apart with a butter knife and a paper clip. Ask guy from India to repeat every sentence 6 times. Fiddle with mother board. Fiddle with wires. Fiddle on the roof. Per guy from India’s recommendation, repack computer and take it back to the store.
No time to exercise. Oh well. Rush out (late) pick up kids. Exchange computer. Put box on desk.
Throw something into the oven. Forget I put it in the oven till I smell something burning. Throw it away.
Husband comes home. “So. What did you do today?”
Me. “I…well, uh…” heavy sigh, “nothing.”