My carpet is disgusting

Wendy!  Get Rich Quick Scheme number 197,322!!!

I am thinking of calling it Nature’s Carpet, a revolutionary new flooring manufactured with the family in mind.  Envision this in your
own home.  Orange cat?  Nature’s Carpet will incorporate random tufts of orange hair into the weave!  Have a baby?   Imagine haphazard patches of mustard yellow and baby burp white!  For you dog owners, muddy paw prints in chocolate and caramel brown and some ‘oopsie’ spots for the puppy years.  I’m thinking the ketchup and pizza stain pattern is a must for a rumpus room.  And every guy will clamor for the barf and beer stain look for his man room.

Husbands?  Go ahead and take that motorcycle apart in the living room.  She won’t care.  Not with Nature’s Carpet’s “Garage Floor Stain” pattern.

Get that new carpet smell with the user-friendly feel.  No more need to chase that wet pet through the house.  Screaming at the kids over muddy boots is a thing of the past.  Peace and tranquility abound as you ‘go green’ with our bark dust, rabbit droppings and moss chunks pattern.

Your friend’s will turn puce with envy!

Wendy, my family will easily be able to do all of the design work.  You look into the patent deal.  I’m thinkin’ we’re on to something big this time.



Filed under 35 symptoms of menopause, Children, cleaning, Cooking, Cussing, Death, Dogs, Geroge Clooney, Humor, kids messy rooms, Marriage, Menopause, Motherhood, parenthood

5 responses to “My carpet is disgusting

  1. Joyce


    Will this get rich quick scheme replace the Pilsbury bake off?


  2. Sam Jacobson

    You’re on the right track, but I think the solution needs some tweaking. After all, you could get a different color of cat and then you’d have to get new carpet. Instead, install roller carpet. Here’s how it works.

    You have a roll of carpet that is the width of your house. You load the carpet into the house like film in a camera. Slide it through the house and affix it to the roller (empty) on the other side of the house. Whenever the carpet gets dirty, just crank the roll until the floors are covered with clean carpet. Repeat as needed.

  3. Okay, that is BRILLIANT! Let’s add this to the patent! Another idea that’s on the same track? Carpet shoes! Yes, just cut out a piece of plush carpet and strap ’em to your feet and wear them where ever you want carpet in your house, but can’t afford it yet!!!

  4. Shirley Karr

    LOL! Thanks for reminding me to call Empire to get another estimate. We’re yanking out the carpet altogether in the LR and DR and replacing it with something we can sweep and mop.

  5. I had a similar idea in paint colors for our home. Exterior paint to incorporate earthy tones of Rust, Moss Green, and Sprinkler Splash of Mud. You could also work in Chimney Muck as an accent.
    I haven’t planned the interior color choices yet… but white just doesn’t work.

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