It’s Winning Wednesday here at Toohotmamas…hang on just a sec…Okay, I’m back after having laughed myself half silly. When we came up with the harebrained idea to hold a bi-monthly sweepstakes, I thought Wendy was going to run the contest and she thought I was. We should have known it would be a disaster. Just look at all the success we’ve had with the Pillsbury bake-off contest.
Anyway, I have an idea for a contest where the contestant would be…me. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, especially since Wills and Kate got married, and it dawned on me that we don’t have any royalty in the United States. Oh, sure, there was that whole Kennedy/Camelot thing, but come on, we all know he was the president and not the king.
Where is OUR Wills and Kate?
Celebrities, such as Queen Latifa and Burger King don’t count.
I think I would make a really good Queen for several reasons:
1. I would lobby to make all chargers (phone/iPod/etc.) USE THE SAME CORD!
2. I have plenty of cellulite to mock and plaster across tabloid covers.
3. I already have a scepter (okay, septic, so shoot me).
4. I love hats. And tiaras.
5. I really, really, really want to be Queen.
So, I’m working on my platform (think battery chargers) and am wondering if I should simply appoint myself (since Queendom is not a democracy) and throw a coronation party here, at Toohotmamas.
I welcome all ideas for change that you’d like to see added to my reform agenda. Wendy would automatically be princess (unfortunately, there can only be one queen, and it was my idea and I am older), and heir to the throne. We will have to establish a hierarchy for the kids, as they will be the ones running around creating scandal and playing polo.
Hopefully, I’ll be able to post my mission statement next Wednesday.
Long live the queen,
HRM Carolyn of Manchester.
(I love the name Manchester. Reminds me of my bra size).