After Carolyn’s post yesterday, I probably should be throwing my tiara in the ring, lobbying to be Queen of the United States, or at least the area around my easy chair. I have been trying for ages to get my family to address me as Your Highness, but they are so resistant to change.
The thing is, I’m not the queen type. I prefer to fly slightly under the radar. Besides, I get hat head. Carolyn has really thick hair; she’ll look fabulous after the hat comes off–and it’ll probably be an adorable hat she made from a sweater or a dog bed or an empty Ritz Cracker box or something. She is brilliant at making hats. Honestly, she should have been a milliner.
So, Carolyn, you’ll have my fealty if you make me a hat.
Also, I think that when you are queen you should make George Clooney date women born before 1985. This is really important. With a Too Hot Mama on the throne, we can mandate this kind of validation for women over forty-five.
Wow. I can’t believe I once stepped in human urine while walking through Central Park with the future queen of the United States. (After the hats and George Clooney, you might want to do something about that urine situation.)
All hail Carolyn! Long may you rain… rein…reign… Well, enjoy bossing people around, dear friend.