Tag Archives: irritability

Let’s explore symptom # 3 “Irritability”

As we explore the 35 symptoms of Menopause together, I’m going to be taking them out of order.  Why?  Because that’s how they take me.

Symptom Number Three–IRRITABILITY

Normally, I am very kind to telemarketers.  Hey, they are just doing their job, right?  Trying to carve out a living.  Like me.  I get that.  But lately…I don’t know…I find myself somewhat irritated by them.  Probably because of symptoms #5 Trouble Sleeping Through the Night and #9 Crashing Fatigue.

Anyway, early this morning, the phone rings.  Right off the bat, symptom 3 rears its ugly head.  Caller ID says “MSL PROMO’  (402) 982-0420.  Huh?  “Hello?”

Silence.

Symptom 3 ramps up.  “HELLO?”

After another 3 seconds I hear a heavily accented voice say, “Hull-oo?”

“Hi, uh, listen, I don’t do business over the phone, so take me off your list, huh?  Thank you.”  Feeling good about my patient demeanor, loving-my-neighbor and all that, I hang up and roll back over for some much-needed sleep.

Ring.  Same caller I.D.  I don’t want any.  “Hello?”

Again, loooong pause.  “Ees dis Calo…Car…Curlolin…Cularlin…C.c.c…”

“Yes!  Please!  I don’t do business over the phone.  Take me off your list!  Thank you!”  I hang up and try to sleep.

Ring. 

I answer.  “WHAT?”

“Uhh… ees dis… Calr… Colin…C”

“Do not call here again.”

“Haas my cumpony call you more than woonce?”

“As of this morning, THREE TIMES!  BUZZ OFF!”

Ring, Ring…

This is where Symptom #3 possessed me like a scene from the Exorcist.  I picked up the phone and screamed until I was hoarse.  Felt good.  Real good.

Ring, Ring…  (I’m not kidding).  This time, I imagine my caller gathering his telemarketer buddies around the phone, all eager to see what I’ll do next.  It was early.  I had little time to prepare a show, so I improvised with another blood curdling scream.  Loud and long and window rattling.  The dogs dove under the bed.

Throat is raw and bloody.  But I’m feeling good about the way I handled it.  By now, I was awake enough to call the National Do Not Call Number to register my phone.   888-382-1222.  Call ’em.  It’ll save your vocal cords.  And your sleep.

Calrolein…Carlyloln…C…C…Carolyn

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